PJ Poll - Final

Oregon is now your National Champion. The only suspense remaining is whether they will be awarded the crown this January with a victory on the field against Auburn or whether the Ducks will be awarded the title by virtue of forfeit in the near future.

Cam Newton may have a "Reggie Bush Moment" lying in wait around the corner like a bandit (Thanks, Lina Wertmuller!). But that travesty could still be several years away.

He'll have to date a Kardashian before his career completely implodes. That has always been the process. We've seen Reggie Bush marginalized by injury this season and Miles Austin now looking more like Jane Austen than Steve Austin. He can't even say, "Hello, Kitna." Both reek of the stench of Kardashian.

I have no idea what is happening to Lamar Odom's NBA career recently since marrying a Kardashian -- mainly because I will never be so bored as to consistently watch NBA regular-season basketball.

Back to my original point. BCS Championship Game. No suspense. No drama. As Sid Vicious would snarl, "NO FUN!!!"

We've gone on this journey through the college football season to illustrate the lunacy of the BCS Championship Game. You've witnessed all of the jockeying for championship positions, yet one undefeated team (TCU) is still locked out. The Horned Frogs are prevented from having an opportunity to win a championship on the field by university eggheads and corporate presidents.

College football is the only major sport that crowns a champion in such a ludicrous way. Maybe we should set up a New England - Atlanta Super Bowl right now. That would just go over great here in Pittsburgh. No one would have to bother with all those exciting playoff games.

As a remedy to the nonsense of the BCS, I would propose both a long-term and a short-term solution.

The long-term solution would consist of the following:

• There would be 96 teams in Division I, divided into eight 12-team superconferences. This would be a long-term solution since Division I football would need to be reduced from its current 120-team membership to accommodate the new format. Even these extra teams could be included, but it would create the need for a play-in round.

• Each team would play an 11-game schedule against every conference member. This would eliminate confusion about conference champions such as in this year's Big Ten. It would also eliminate the ridiculous "scrimmage-type" games against I-AA, MAC and Sun Belt opponents so prevalent in the early weeks of the season. Conference games start Week One and teams have to be ready!

• The playoff would include 16 teams from the eight conferences. It would actually be similar to the European Soccer Champions League. Eight Conference Champions (seeded 1-8) would play eight Conference Runners-Up (seeded 9-16) at the home sites of the top seeds. No second legs or goal differential, though.

This would eliminate all debate about access to the National Championship. If you do not finish first or second in your conference - you do not deserve a chance to win the National Championship. As stated before, this is a long-term solution that would require a reformation of Division I conferences. There are now 120 Division I football programs -- with more schools slated to be added in the future.

If you had 20 playoff squads from ten 12-team superconferences, a format of 12 byes and a play-in round consisting of eight conference runner-up teams would have to be implemented. This would allow the 20-team field to be whittled down to the original sixteen teams in an equitable manner.

The short-term solution can occur now without major conference realignment. This playoff would also have 16 teams. Eleven conference winners and five at-large teams would be seeded #1 to #16 in a bracket with the initial games played at the home field of the higher seed.

I used the BCS Rankings for the majority of my seedings. Hopefully, such rankings will be eliminated in the future. The entire task of seeding and selecting five at-large bids would be handled by a seeding committee similar to the one in college basketball.

Here is an example of how it would work out this season:

• #16 Troy at #1 Auburn
• #15 Miami, Ohio at #2 Oregon
• #14 Central Florida at #3 TCU
• #13 UConn at #4 Stanford
• #12 Virginia Tech at #5 Wisconsin
• #11 LSU at #6 Ohio St.
• #10 Boise St. at #7 Oklahoma
• #9 Michigan St. at #8 Arkansas

Now that's college football! Much better than the Beef O'Brady's Bowl and its mascot, Gravy Greg!

I hope you enjoyed the PJ Poll this season. Pittsburgh Jones has a lot more fun in store for you!

Be sure to check back often. I'm going to be expanding the site to cover many different issues.

And it's going to be a wonderful ride ...

PJ Poll - Week Thirteen

The pure lunacy (and evil) that is the BCS has only one path to legitimacy Saturday. And big money will make that happen.

Although Oregon vs. TCU is not as attractive a matchup as Oregon vs. Auburn -- the Horned Frogs have become the pesky spanner in the works.

Oregon will beat rival Oregon St. and South Carolina will upset Auburn.

The Oregon-TCU Matchup will accomplish the following:

1) Oregon will represent the major BCS conferences and will legitimize the BCS favoritism bestowed on those conferences by handily dispatching minor conference foe Texas Christian.

2) There will not be a third team on the outside looking in. Any team that wins every game on the field and is denied a chance to play for the national championship seriously weakens the claim that the BCS crowns a true nation champion. If Oregon and Auburn win, TCU will find itself in this position.

3) Although Cam Newton has been cleared by the NCAA, there is always the possibility that future allegations could cast a cloud on the BCS and could even lead to a later foreit of a national championship. That's a chance the BCS (and possibly the Heisman) do not want to take.

Oregon vs. TCU. That's the matchup. I'll be back next week for the final PJ Poll where I will discuss the national championship game and a plan for a fairer and more inclusive playoff system.

PJ Poll - Week 12

The inevitable path leading to the Oregon-TCU championship game will be cleared today as turkey-laden football fans will find room in their stomachs to devour the best in college gridiron action.

Nothing much changed from last week's PJ Poll. Thus, let us review. There will be two undefeated teams left at the end of today -- two teams with only one token game remaining to cement their roles in the national championship.

This is how the chips are going to fall today:

1) Oregon will turn the Arizona Wildcats into Mildcats. Think Reverse Catnip. This is going to be a rout. By the end of tomorrow, there will be no doubt that the Ducks belong in the national championship.

2) Auburn will get washed out with the Tide. It's high and Cam Newton won't be holding on. And he's not going to be your #1.

3) Boise State will find out that what happens in Nevada, stays in Nevada. Things such as national chamipionship hopes.

That leaves one game for Saturday - an easy rout of TCU over New Mexico. This victory will seal the Horned Frogs' undefeated season.

Oregon will have to defeat Oregon State next week to join TCU in the championship game.

The games this Friday will be very entertaining -- but two teams will be standing at the end of the day.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Texas Christian
3. Auburn
4. Boise State

Cam Newton Falls to Earth!

Photo: (Jerome Newton contemplates the strategic advantages of the 3-4 defense.)


Beleaguered Auburn quarterback Cam Newton endured more damaging revelations from alleged distant relative Jerome Newton on Tuesday.


Jerome Newton told reporters that he tried to make a deal with Vanderbilt regarding the signing of Cam Newton.


In this deal, Cam would sign with the Commodores and Jerome Newton would get water for his home planet.


The deal fell through, however, because Jerome Newton has always been an extremely poor negotiator.


The contracts eventually became so convoluted that Cam Newton signed with Auburn and Jerome Newton was left with weekly shipments of bottled water, personally delivered by Lionel Richie.


Cam Newton denies that he is even distantly related to Jerome Newton, noting that such a suggestion was "beyond the pale."

PJ Poll - Week Eleven

Every football season, countless people talk about the need for a playoff system and present powerful arguments why this system should be adopted.

But corporate bully boys, bowl organizers and university presidents overrule the will of the people. Fans are told to accept the legitimacy of a system that only benefits the rich and makes a travesty out of the beautiful sport of college football.

The San Francisco Giants and the Texas Rangers would never have been in the World Series if baseball was as hampered by nonsense as college football. And don't even get me started about Butler Bulldog Basketball!

Yet, there is still a glimmer of hope. The more teams that go undefeated and get shut out of the championship game, the more the BCS is weakened.

It's just a wee bit strange how the BCS often finds a way to legitimize itself. And games just "happen" to fall in such a way that make the ludicrous system actually seem workable.

Love is strange. People are strange. The BCS is very strange!

And there's a way for it to all work out for the BCS again this year. How convenient!

The championship game will be between Oregon and TCU. That's not the matchup supporters of the BCS want. But there is no way to avoid TCU at this point without further weakening the position that the BCS crowns a true national champion.

Oregon vs. Auburn would be the darling matchup of the corporate BCS interests. It sets up both an East-West and a North-South matchup as well as a shootout between two offensive juggernauts. That would make some money.

Here are the reasons why Oregon and TCU land in the big game and Auburn must make its exit.

1) TCU will be undefeated. New Mexico is a terrible team that will not even provide token opposition to TCU. The BCS does not want to hear that the system again denied an undefeated team the opportunity to win the national championship on the field.

2) Boise State will lose. They need to be out of the big game for the same reasons TCU needs to be in it.

The BCS cannot afford an undefeated team at the window. They can't afford the Broncos looking in at the party. Not to mention that putting your nose to a frozen window can be quite troublesome in Idaho.

It would be a tall order for either Fresno State or Utah State to go into Boise and come out with a victory. The emergency call for Boise will be "Reno 911." The Broncos will be in big trouble when they visit Nevada.

3) Nick Saban dissects Auburn. - The BCS doesn't want the Cam Newton debacle coming within shouting distance of the national championship game. Nick Saban's Alabama squad will find a way to stop Newton and put some much-needed luster back on Saban's coaching reputation. The Tide rolls the Tigers out to sea.

4) Oregon silences Quacks. - There are more doubters of the Oregon Ducks since they squeaked by the California Bears last week. They do have enough in their beaks, though, to best a tough Arizona squad and to survive a challenge by their always unpredictable rival, the Oregon State Beavers.

When the regular season ends, I will detail how a playoff system would serve college football much better than the current idiocy.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Texas Christian
3. Auburn
4. Boise State

PJ Poll - Week Ten

It is important to know your limitations. I cannot fully express just how much Texas Christian throttled the Utah Utes this past weekend. By a 47-7 score, Texas Christian humiliated a team that was a true impostor.

I have to call in Special Guest Commentator Conan the Barbarian to expand upon the dismantling of Utah -- a smackdown not given to "Utes" since the heyday of "My Cousin Vinny."

"Conan, what is best in Texas Christian's victory over Utah?"

"They crushed their enemies, they saw them driven before them and they heard the lamentations of their sister-wives."

Yes, and thank the PJ Poll for giving you the only Conan that will make you laugh tonight. And we did it without Andy Richter. Well, you can do pretty much anything without Andy Richter -- so it's not much of an accomplishment.

The PJ Poll is quite simplified right now. The National Championship Game is Oregon vs. Auburn unless one of those teams stumble. Boise State and Texas Christian will hope to fill one of those spots if either the Ducks or Tigers fail to remain undefeated.

Boise State will leave the home blue turf behind Friday night, but the Broncos should still have no trouble finding the green end zone when they travel to Idaho.

On Saturday, Auburn hosts Georgia, Texas Christian is home for San Diego State and the Oregon Ducks travel to California.

Those are three quality opponents -- but none of them would seem to have the firepower to knock out a team from the PJ Poll. Barring a major upset, the PJ Poll will look just like this again next week:

1. Oregon
2. Auburn
3. Texas Christian
4. Boise State

PJ Poll - Week Nine

There are Five Alive!

Much like the name of my favorite '80s post-sports thirst quencher -- a drink which has since faded into fruit punchy obscurity.

One of the five teams left in the PJ Poll will also certainly fade into obscurity as TCU and Utah challenge each other in a pivotal Mountain West matchup.

Here are the games that matter this week:

1 p.m. - Chattanooga at Auburn - Hey Choo Choo Men, do you see that train that just sped by? Cam Newton was on it. He just left you in the station. This game is solely to pump up Newton's Heisman stats.

3:30 p.m. - Hawaii at Boise St. - If this game was in Hawaii, it really could go either way. The home-field advantage is a big deal for the Broncos -- moreso than almost any other team in Division I.

The Warriors, though, have the weapons to pull off big plays against Boise. Hawaii will not be able to stop the Broncos on defense, so they are going to need to air it out early and often.
This game still could be the biggest surprise of the year. Don't count the Warriors out!

3:30 p.m. - Washington at Oregon - I've been hearing about how Washington quarterback Jake Locker is the next big thing for some time now. Yeah, when is that going to happen?

Quarterbacks that never win in college generally don't win in the NFL, either! I'm talking to you, Jay Cutler. Oh, and Oasis is going to be the next Beatles. How did that work out?

Oregon is favored by 35. They'll cover. The only drama will be if the Duck mascot can do all the push-ups.

3:30 p.m. - TCU at Utah - This is the game that will ensure an exit from the PJ Poll. Texas Christian is a completely solid team with no holes on offense or defense. The Horned Frogs are not flashy, but they know how to get the job done. I saw Utah struggle at home against a mediocre Pitt team at the beginning of the season. They do not have the firepower to overcome the consistency of TCU.

It will be a close game. But I think we'll still be talking about TCU in the PJ Poll next week.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Auburn
3. Boise St.
4. Texas Christian
5. Utah

PJ Poll - Week Eight

OK, I apologize for ever doubting the Oregon Ducks.

The way Oregon ruined the Bruins of UCLA -- methinks they are a JUGGERNAUT!

On Donald. On Daffy. Oregon is stretching the field like taffy.

Take it from this sportswriting quack.

The Oregon Ducks are going to find the pearl that is the BCS Championship Game.

Let's allow the late, great Malcolm McLaren to expand on this topic.




Promenade!

The PJ Poll was reduced to seven teams last week. LSU's Les "I Can Make Bad Calls For" Miles finally ran out of luck against undefeated Auburn.

It was also perhaps the worst week for the state of Oklahoma since the Joad family was looking for work. Both the Sooners of Oklahoma and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State are now closer to the Dust Bowl than the BCS Championship Game.

Michigan State and Missouri survived stiff challenges and are joining Oregon and Auburn in staking strong claims to the national championship.

Here are the rankings and the games that will affect the PJ Poll this week:

1. Oregon
2. Michigan St.
3. Texas Christian
4. Boise St.
5. Missouri
6. Auburn
7. Utah

8 p.m., Tuesday, Lousiana Tech at Boise State

3:30 p.m., Saturday, Michigan St. at Iowa

3:30 p.m., Saturday, Missouri at Nebraska

6 p.m., Saturday, Auburn at Ole Miss

7:30 p.m., Saturday, Utah at Air Force

8 p.m., Saturday, Oregon at USC

11 p.m., Saturday, TCU at UNLV

Roethlisberger Film Fest on Turner Classic Movies

Once upon a time, alleged serial rapists could only hope to darken the TV screen opposite Dateline's Chris Hansen or perhaps on a "Very Special Episode" of Cops.


But now, Turner Classic Movies will follow the example set by the fawning hypocrites of Pittsburgh media by broadcasting a Small Ben Roethlisberger Film Festival this Friday night.

Roethlisberger, who would have been traded to the Chargers if the Rooneys had an ounce of respect for the women of Pittsburgh, will finally get to be one with the Bolts.

It's the role he was born to play. It's like thunder. Lightning. The way he loves you is frightening.

Let's take a look at the lineup:


8 p.m. - The Curse of Roethlisberger - A scientist's attempts to create life unleash a bloodthirsty monster. Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Phil Simms.


9:30 p.m. - The Revenge of Roethlisberger - After escaping execution, a mad scientist moves his experiments to a German hospital. Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Charles Nelson Reilly.


11:15 p.m. - Roethlisberger Created Woman - Well, it's easier than paying lawyers. Baron Roethlisberger puts a wrongly executed man's brain into a beautiful woman's body. Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Cloris Leachman.


1 a.m. - Roethlisberger Must Be Destroyed! - Baron Roethlisberger blackmails a brother and sister into helping him with a brain transplant. Only dashing aristocrat Lord Byron Leftwich can vanquish Roethlisberger. Lord Byron has a strong arm AND realizes "No means no." Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Todd Bridges.

PJ Poll - Week Seven

With the PJ Poll down to a manageable level of ten teams, scenarios for a national championship game are beginning to crystallize. Two clashes between PJ Poll teams (LSU-Auburn and Oklahoma-Missouri) will reduce the contenders to eight this week.

Stumbling blocks are also present for Michigan State and Texas Christian. Both teams will have to be careful that road trips to Northwestern and Air Force do not derail their plans for undefeated seasons.

Oklahoma State also has a tough test in a home battle with Nebraska -- one the Cowboys will probably not survive.

Here are the current rankings:

1. Michigan State
2. Oregon
3. Oklahoma
4. Auburn
5. Texas Christian
6. LSU
7. Oklahoma State
8. Boise State
9. Utah
10. Missouri

Remember, the PJ Poll ranks teams according to their chances of remaining undefeated. Oregon is the best team in the country, but the Ducks' remaining schedule is much stiffer than the path left for Michigan State.

In addition, the PJ Poll considers the likelihood of a non-BCS conference team reaching the championship game. Boise State will probably go undefeated, but should be passed over for the national chamionship game. Even a one-loss Alabama or Ohio State team may pass an undefeated Boise State squad if all teams in the PJ Poll suffer a defeat.

No thinking person can look at the Broncos' schedule and put them in the national championship based on non-conference victories over teams such as Virginia Tech. Perhaps Boise State should also beat James Madison, another victor over the Hokies this season.

Texas Christian and Utah would also find themselves having to defend their resumes against one-loss teams if either one finishes the season undefeated. They have a slight advantage over Boise State, though, because one team will have a marquee win over the other after TCU travels to Utah on Nov. 6.

All of this drama could be ended by a playoff system. You know, the kind of thing undertaken by every other major American sport. Just saying. Until then, there is the PJ Poll.

PJ Poll - Week Six

The PJ Poll will have a new top dog this week following the loss of Alabama to South Carolina. Although the 13 remaining teams will not clash in head-to-head meetings like last week, many of the undefeated teams will have to cope with formidable stumbling blocks placed in their way.

The Big 12 is the class of the PJ Poll in Week Six with four teams staying unblemished. Tough challenges for Nebraska, Missouri and Oklahoma State could easily reduce that number this weekend.

The SEC, WAC, Big Ten and Mountain West still have two representatives in the PJ Poll. They join Oregon, the lone representative of the Pac-10.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Michigan St.
3. Texas Christian
4. Boise State
5. Oklahoma
6. Oklahoma St.
7. Nebraska
8. Ohio St.
9. Utah
10. Auburn
11. Missouri
12. LSU
13. Nevada

PJ Poll - Week Five

The PJ Poll members started to remove each other from the rankings last week. Five teams (Wisconsin, Indiana, Florida, Stanford and Texas A+M) were vanquished by other PJ Poll members in conference showdowns.

Combined with USC's fall to the Washington Huskies and the North Carolina State Wolfpack's loss to Virginia Tech, the PJ Poll was reduced from 25 to 18 teams.

North Carolina State was the last surviving member of the ACC. With the exit of the ACC, the number of conferences remaining alive in the PJ Poll is now six.

Here are this week's rankings:

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio St.
4. Boise St.
5. Texas Christian
6. Michigan St.
7. Oklahoma
8. Oklahoma St.
9. Nebraska
10. Arizona
11. Michigan
12. LSU
13. Auburn
14. Nevada
15. Missouri
16. Kansas St.
17. Utah
18. Northwestern

NFL Lock of the Year

There are going to be a lot of gamblers that will want to recoup their losses on the Sunday night NBC game by singing a version of Frank's "Chicago is My Kind of Town."

They would be much better off singing "New York, New York."

The line on this game is so curious that it sets off bells and whistles inside me usually reserved for appearances by Christina Hendricks. It's more curious than a monkey that hangs out with men who wear yellow.

The Giants are in such disarray that they should probably not be giving 3.5 points to anyone --let alone the undefeated Bears, who are fresh off an impressive victory over the Green Bay Packers.

Well, those Giants will be in "array" Sunday night. Everyone is preparing for the implosion of this once-proud franchise -- but it will be Jay Cutler working in the Implosion Department Sunday night. He'll think he's still at Vanderbilt.

Give the 3.5 points and take the Giants. The Bears are the "Sucker Bet of the Year." There are Care Bears out there who will show more intensity than Chicago will Sunday night.

These Bears are ready to hibernate and they are going to catch a lot of suckers who do not anticipate their nap on Sunday night. The Blue Men are about to cover the Bears in Pooh!

Playing Cards with LeBron James

New Miami Heat player LeBron James said the backlash against him for leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers stems from racism present against African-Americans in the NBA.

When James is done addressing this issue, he plans to combat homophobia on Project Runway.

PJ Poll - Week Four

Take away all the Pretenders. Except those with Chrissie Hynde. Gooodbye nine more losers. Out of sight, out of mind.

The PJ Poll has whittled its way down to 25 teams as the Big East exited the poll quicker than Lindsay Lohan gets out of rehab. With the departure of the Big East and the MAC, seven conferences (five major, two minor) remain alive in the PJ Poll.

With the losses of Fresno State and Temple, the route for gatecrashers to punch a ticket from the minor conferences has simplified tremendously. The TCU-Utah winner from the Mountain West and the Boise State-Nevada winner from the WAC are the contenders to be invited to a BCS Bowl.

Matchups of surviving PJ Poll teams will occur this weekend as conference play gets into full swing. Starting with a Thursday night clash between the Aggies of Texas A+M and the Oklahoma State Cowboys, the weekend will continue to match undefeated teams in tussles such as Florida-Alabama, Wisconsin-Michigan State and Stanford-Oregon.

The picture of the race for the national championship will become even clearer. And the PJ Poll will be here to explain it all.

Here are the rankings for Week Four:

1. Alabama
2. Ohio State
3. Texas Christian
4. Oregon
5. Stanford
6. Wisconsin
7. Nebraska
8. Oklahoma
9. Oklahoma St.
10. Florida
11. Boise St.
12. Nevada
13. Utah
14. Michigan
15. Michigan St.
16. Kansas St.
17. USC
18. North Carolina St.
19. Missouri
20. LSU
21. Arizona
22. Auburn
23. Texas A+M
24. Northwestern
25. Indiana

PJ Poll - Week Three

A total of 34 teams remain alive in Week Three of the PJ Poll.

Conference USA was eliminated this week, bringing the number of eligible conferences in the PJ Poll down to nine.

The Mid-American Conference is in a precarious position as the Temple Owls should be the main course at a Nittany Lion Picnic on Saturday.

Five other teams join Temple from the non-BCS conferences in the PJ Poll. Utah and Texas Christian are undefeated in the Mountain West. Fresno State, Nevada and Boise State have no losses in the WAC. All five of these teams are legitimate party crashers.

I see both a Mountain West and a WAC team having a resume worthy of a major bowl.

The top spot in the PJ Poll could easily be known as "Sweet Home Alabama."

And that's a fitting tribute to a certain gym teacher (and Southern Rock inspiration) named Leonard Skinner, who passed away Monday.

He's as free as a bird now (:

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Texas Christian
4. Ohio St.
5. Texas
6. Oklahoma
7. Florida
8. Boise St.
9. Stanford
10. Utah
11. Nebraska
12. Oklahoma St.
13. Wisconsin
14. LSU
15. Arizona
16. Arkansas
17. Michigan St.
18. Auburn
19. Nevada
20. South Carolina
21. Southern Cal
22. Michigan
23. Kansas St.
24. Fresno St.
25. Kentucky
26. West Virginia
27. North Carolina St.
28. Texas A + M
29. Boston College
30. Missouri
31. Northwestern
32. Rutgers
33. Indiana
34. Temple

PJ Poll - Week Two

The PJ Poll enters its second week with the total of undefeated teams reduced from 79 to 46.

Losses by Army and Notre Dame ensured the elimination of all independent schools from the PJ Poll. The Sun Belt Conference also exited the rankings as all members now have blemishes on their records.

The split between power conference and non-power conference teams in the PJ Poll stands at 36-10. The MAC may be eliminated soon with only Temple remaining undefeated. As far as power conferences, the Big East may also be making an early exit from the PJ Poll with only Rutgers and West Virginia still without a loss.

Here are the current rankings:

1. Alabama
2. Ohio St.
3. Oregon
4. Florida
5. TCU
6. Texas
7. Oklahoma
8. Texas Tech
9. Boise St.
10. Wisconsin
11. Iowa
12. Oklahoma St.
13. Utah
14. Stanford
15. Houston
16. Michigan
17. Nebraska
18. Nevada
19. Southern Cal
20. LSU
21. Arkansas
22. Texas A+M
23. California
24. Fresno St.
25. Auburn
26. Boston College
27. Kansas St.
28. South Carolina
29. Arizona
30. West Virginia
31. Missouri
32. Michigan St.
33. Rutgers
34. Clemson
35. Kentucky
36. Northwestern
37. Maryland
38. Temple
39. Arizona St.
40. Air Force
41. North Carolina St.
42. Indiana
43. East Carolina
44. Wake Forest
45. San Diego St.
46. Baylor

PJ Poll - Week One

Pittsburgh Jones Poll - The purpose of the Pittsburgh Jones Poll (PJ Poll) is to provide a more coherent explanation of the journey to college football's national championship than that offered by the AP Poll and the BCS Rankings.

The PJ Poll takes all 120 Division I football programs and ranks the teams that have not lost a game. After the first week, there are 79 teams left in the PJ Poll.

The teams are ranked in terms of quality and that ranking is further adjusted in terms of strength of conference and schedule. Teams will be removed from the PJ Poll when they lose their first game. The top two teams in the PJ Poll are projected to play each other for the National Championship.

In subsequent weeks, I will detail the relationships between power and non-power conferences and how that will affect the National Championship game. For Week One, the PJ Poll will rank the 79 Division I teams with a shot at the national championship game.

1. Alabama
2. Ohio St.
3. Texas
4. Oregon
5. TCU
6. Florida
7. Boise State
8. Iowa
9. Oklahoma
10. Florida State
11. Notre Dame
12. Penn St.
13. Wisconsin
14. Houston
15. Utah
16. BYU
17. Oklahoma St.
18. LSU
19. WVU
20. Miami (Fla.)
21. Georgia Tech
22. California
23. Nebraska
24. Arkansas
25. Auburn
26. Michigan
27. Stanford
28. Fresno St.
29. Texas Tech
30. Kansas St.
31. USC
32. Clemson
33. Texas A + M
34. Georgia
35. Mississippi St.
36. Kentucky
37. Rutgers
38. Arizona
39. Nevada
40. Tennessee
41. South Carolina
42. Michigan St.
43. Northwestern
44. South Florida
45. Missouri
46. Arizona St.
47. East Carolina
48. Colorado
49. Boston College
50. Maryland
51. North Carolina St.
52. Iowa St.
53. Indiana
54. Minnesota
55. Air Force
56. San Diego St.
57. UTEP
58. Central Florida
59. Wyoming
60. Wake Forest
61. Syracuse
62. Duke
63. Virginia
64. Baylor
65. Temple
66. Central Michigan
67. Idaho
68. Troy
69. Louisiana Tech
70. Buffalo
71. Army
72. Tulane
73. Ball State
74. Ohio University
75. Kent State
76. Florida International
77. Florida Atlantic
78. New Mexico St.
79. Louisiana - Monroe

Pro Football Predictions

Before tonight's clash between Minnesota and New Orleans, Pittsburgh Jones unveils his predictions for the new season.

AFC EAST - New England. It's still a story of a man named Brady. Jets? As Flavor Flav used to say, "Don't Believe the Hype!"

AFC NORTH - Baltimore. Flacco is wacko. Like Jacko. And Boldin is golden! You try to rhyme something with Houzhmandzadeh. If you can, you're a better man than me. As for the Steelers, there's a moral price to pay for continuing to coddle someone who may be a serial rapist. That moral price is called last place.

With regard to the Bengals, you can set your clocks by the inevitable explosion that will occur betweeen VH1 reality stars Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco. Not only will this conflict ruin the Bengals for the year, it may also cause considerable damage to the fight for legalizing gay marriage.

AFC SOUTH - Indianapolis. This is an outstanding division with four very talented teams. The Colts will have plenty of receiving options for Peyton Manning and an underrated defense to hold the leads Manning provides. If the Colts can solidify their rushing game, they will be able to capture the crown in this division. Watch out for Chris Johnson and the Titans, though. They will be a factor.

AFC WEST - San Diego. The only stronger Chargers out there might be Teresa and Joe Giudice from "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." The Chargers have the weapons to "Bolt" to the top. Only one man can stop them

And it's not Kyle Orton. San Diego can only lose the title through the ministrations of Tebow.
Did you know Tebow rhymes with Devo? Are we not men? We are Tebow! I like it!

NFC EAST - Washington. There's a wonderful sort of freedom you feel when you get out of Philadelphia. I've felt it. Donovan McNabb will feel it. Shine a light, shine a light!

NFC NORTH - Minnesota. Once the Vikings get Sidney Rice healthy and Brett Favre hits a midseason groove, the Purple Posse will be unstoppable. Mister Rodgers will cool off so much in Green Bay that he will need a cardigan sweater.

NFC SOUTH - Atlanta. This is kind of arbitrary here. I want the Saints to lose. Why? Harry Connick, Jr. is a fan of the Saints and I think he is profoundly creepy. Not to mention that if you hear one of his songs, Sourface Meg Ryan always shows up. I don't want anything to make Mr. Connick happy. Ever.

NFC WEST - Arizona. Derek Anderson is a talented quarterback. He just never had the right weapons around him in Cleveland. He will have that this year with Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston. They are going to have a tough battle with San Francisco, but I think the Cardinals will come out on top.

AFC WILD CARDS - Tennessee, Miami.

NFC WILD CARDS - Green Bay, Dallas.


AFC CHAMPIONSHIP - San Diego defeats Indianapolis.

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP - Minnesota defeats Green Bay.


SUPER BOWL - Minnesota defeats San Diego. Perfect Favre Farewell. Tarkenton is avenged.

English Premier League Season Predictions

Now is the autumn of our content ... made glorious soccer by this sun of ... Stamford Bridge? Old Trafford? Or even White Hart Lane?

The time has come to make my predictions for the English Premier League's 2010-11 season. Since Jason Voorhees will be taking over my computer to write a hockey preview tomorrow, I have to post this now.

I apologize because I have no Casey Kasem, Dick Clark or Solid Gold Dancers to jazz up this countdown.

Carson Daly did apply for the job. I turned him down. But that is not important now.

Onwards, let us march from the kitchen scraps portion of the table to the good silverware that we only use for company.

20. Blackpool - No, this club is not sponsored by BP. But they might as well be. Blackpool will not generate many cheers. Their defense will be unable to plug any holes. Back to the seashore with this lot.

19. West Bromwich Albion - Malcolm McDowell would call this team "The Old In-Out" -- but for a decidedly less bawdy reason.

The WBA squad, which is named after the British version of the Sloppy Joe ("I say old chap, don't just make a sandwich, make a Bromwich."), was relegated two years ago and earned their way back into the league last year.

It's like watching a cheesy Lionel Richie video with bad sculptures in reverse. Goodbye! It's not you we're looking for!

18. West Ham - You know what we do with ham in Pittsburgh? We chip it. West Ham is going to get chipped. Right out of the Premier League.

17. Wigan Athletic - Our old friends, "Uncle Wigan," will probably have to sweat relegation until the last day of the season. This squad is profoundly inconsistent. But they generally have enough "on days" to stave off relegation.

16. Newcastle - This is the only new team in the top division that I feel has the talent and enthusiasm to lengthen their stay in the Premier League. A Monday night tussle with Manchester United in the first week will be very telling for Newcastle.

15. Wolverhampton - The band Los Lobos once asked, "Will the wolf survive?" I say yes. Definitely. With room to spare.

14. Bolton Wanderers - The talented defense of the Wanderers will not be enough to override the lackluster offense of this squad.

Think of it in terms of team namesake Michael Bolton's hair.

No matter how much you got going on in the back, it does not take away from the holes in the front.

13. Blackburn Rovers - Red Rover! Red Rover! Another season in the middle of the pack and then it's over!

12. Stoke City - The Stoke eleven always seem to be able to present a challenge to any team in the Premier League. The top clubs need to take this team seriously and avoid any stumbles that could cause damage to their places in the table. Can Stoke make a legitimate run at the higher spots in the league? No. But can they spoil the dreams of other teams in the league? Absolutely.

11. Birmingham - Rugged. Tough. Fighting until the last second. Birmingham has a squad much like the city they call home. Coming off an impressive finish in their first year back in the Premier League, Birmingham will continue to challenge the top teams this year.

10. Sunderland - Darren Bent is one of the best strikers in the Premier League and it is just a matter of time until he is snatched away by a club with a solid chance to win titles. He cannot do it alone at Sunderland. If this team is going to reap the rewards from Bent's marquee talent -- the time is now.

9. Fulham - I always thought this team sounded like a lawyer at the firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe. But now I can never get past the word "overrated." This squad will never win the big game. They may beat up on the lower-level teams, but the win will not be there when they truly need it. I think ranking them #9 is a gift from me.

8. Everton - The sole purpose of the squad from Everton is to tell me when it is time to get a haircut. Watch them and you will understand that statement. I don't see this team contending in a meaningful fashion, but they will be respectable.

7. Aston Villa - This squad sounds like it is the love child of Ashton Kutcher and Pancho Villa. Which is strangely apropos. Let me explain. They'll steal a few victories ... but eventually they'll be punk'd.

6. Liverpool - Roy Hodgson is the new manager at Liverpool. Remember that old Bangles lyric -- "I'm going down to Liverpool to do nothing." Cue that up on your Ipods, Liverpool haters. It will be Mr. Hodgson's theme song in the very near future.

5. Manchester City - Probably the toughest call in the entire set of opening predictions is between Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur for fourth place and the final Champions League spot.

The two teams meet in the first week of the season and that match could go a long way towards determining fourth place. Both teams are ready to have a tremendous impact on the Premier League. Which team will take advantage of this opportunity?

4. Tottenham Hotspur - Quite a week ahead for Spurs. A pivotal game against Manchester City in the Premier League followed by a Champions League qualifying match against The Team Who Cannot Be Googled. Robocrouch Powers! Activate!

3. Arsenal - The Arsenal squad could easily top the table in goals scored. But they may give up a lot of goals as well. Despite a questionable defense, Arsenal remains a bigger threat to the top spot than they were last year. If the Gunners catch a few breaks along the way, they could easily win the Premier League.

2. Manchester United - Another Premier League title for United would just about knock the 90210 sideburns off Old Man Giggs. And after a 3-1 pasting of rival Chelsea in Sunday's Community Shield match, a title seems well within reach for the lads of Old Trafford.
United has to avoid the letdowns against inferior clubs that characterized last season, while still rising to the occasion when they play teams like Chelsea and Arsenal.

1. Chelsea - The departure of Michael Ballack to Bayern Leverkusen of the German Bundesliga will hurt last year's Premier League Champions. But the loss of Joe Cole will not. The good news for Chelsea is that the return of Michael Essien and the addition of Yossi Benayoun will provide additional firepower to an already potent offense.

Didier Drogba will look to capture another Golden Boot as Chelsea defends its Premier League and FA Cup crowns. The Champions League title, denied the Blues by eventual champion Internationale Milan, remains a huge goal for Chelsea this season.

Goaltender Petr Cech must stay healthy, because Chelsea cannot win with backup Hilario in the net.

This is going to be a tight three-team race for the Premier League crown. If Chelsea avoids injury and stays mentally tough even against lesser teams, a repeat as champion is certainly within the Blues' reach.

And in 2011-12, look for these teams to be promoted to the Premier League:

1) Leeds United - Known on film as "The Damned United," this squad may be preparing a return to its '70s glory days. The club was promoted from League One last year in a season that was also highlighted by Leeds' stunning elimination of Manchester United in the FA Cup.

2) Hull City - Relegated from the Premier League last year, Hull City should bounce right back this year. This should excite the Housemartins, a British band who are also Hull City supporters. And it will be (sing along please ...) Happy Hour again, and again and again ...

3) Coventry City - Raucous bacchanal in the streets of Coventry not seen since the heyday of Lady Godiva may occur when this team gets promoted to the Premier League.

Just like Jermaine Stewart said, "We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time. Uh-Huh. We could dance and party all night and drink some cherry wine ... Uh-Huh."