PJ Poll - Week Eight

OK, I apologize for ever doubting the Oregon Ducks.

The way Oregon ruined the Bruins of UCLA -- methinks they are a JUGGERNAUT!

On Donald. On Daffy. Oregon is stretching the field like taffy.

Take it from this sportswriting quack.

The Oregon Ducks are going to find the pearl that is the BCS Championship Game.

Let's allow the late, great Malcolm McLaren to expand on this topic.




Promenade!

The PJ Poll was reduced to seven teams last week. LSU's Les "I Can Make Bad Calls For" Miles finally ran out of luck against undefeated Auburn.

It was also perhaps the worst week for the state of Oklahoma since the Joad family was looking for work. Both the Sooners of Oklahoma and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State are now closer to the Dust Bowl than the BCS Championship Game.

Michigan State and Missouri survived stiff challenges and are joining Oregon and Auburn in staking strong claims to the national championship.

Here are the rankings and the games that will affect the PJ Poll this week:

1. Oregon
2. Michigan St.
3. Texas Christian
4. Boise St.
5. Missouri
6. Auburn
7. Utah

8 p.m., Tuesday, Lousiana Tech at Boise State

3:30 p.m., Saturday, Michigan St. at Iowa

3:30 p.m., Saturday, Missouri at Nebraska

6 p.m., Saturday, Auburn at Ole Miss

7:30 p.m., Saturday, Utah at Air Force

8 p.m., Saturday, Oregon at USC

11 p.m., Saturday, TCU at UNLV

Roethlisberger Film Fest on Turner Classic Movies

Once upon a time, alleged serial rapists could only hope to darken the TV screen opposite Dateline's Chris Hansen or perhaps on a "Very Special Episode" of Cops.


But now, Turner Classic Movies will follow the example set by the fawning hypocrites of Pittsburgh media by broadcasting a Small Ben Roethlisberger Film Festival this Friday night.

Roethlisberger, who would have been traded to the Chargers if the Rooneys had an ounce of respect for the women of Pittsburgh, will finally get to be one with the Bolts.

It's the role he was born to play. It's like thunder. Lightning. The way he loves you is frightening.

Let's take a look at the lineup:


8 p.m. - The Curse of Roethlisberger - A scientist's attempts to create life unleash a bloodthirsty monster. Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Phil Simms.


9:30 p.m. - The Revenge of Roethlisberger - After escaping execution, a mad scientist moves his experiments to a German hospital. Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Charles Nelson Reilly.


11:15 p.m. - Roethlisberger Created Woman - Well, it's easier than paying lawyers. Baron Roethlisberger puts a wrongly executed man's brain into a beautiful woman's body. Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Cloris Leachman.


1 a.m. - Roethlisberger Must Be Destroyed! - Baron Roethlisberger blackmails a brother and sister into helping him with a brain transplant. Only dashing aristocrat Lord Byron Leftwich can vanquish Roethlisberger. Lord Byron has a strong arm AND realizes "No means no." Ben Roethlisberger, Peter Cushing, Todd Bridges.

PJ Poll - Week Seven

With the PJ Poll down to a manageable level of ten teams, scenarios for a national championship game are beginning to crystallize. Two clashes between PJ Poll teams (LSU-Auburn and Oklahoma-Missouri) will reduce the contenders to eight this week.

Stumbling blocks are also present for Michigan State and Texas Christian. Both teams will have to be careful that road trips to Northwestern and Air Force do not derail their plans for undefeated seasons.

Oklahoma State also has a tough test in a home battle with Nebraska -- one the Cowboys will probably not survive.

Here are the current rankings:

1. Michigan State
2. Oregon
3. Oklahoma
4. Auburn
5. Texas Christian
6. LSU
7. Oklahoma State
8. Boise State
9. Utah
10. Missouri

Remember, the PJ Poll ranks teams according to their chances of remaining undefeated. Oregon is the best team in the country, but the Ducks' remaining schedule is much stiffer than the path left for Michigan State.

In addition, the PJ Poll considers the likelihood of a non-BCS conference team reaching the championship game. Boise State will probably go undefeated, but should be passed over for the national chamionship game. Even a one-loss Alabama or Ohio State team may pass an undefeated Boise State squad if all teams in the PJ Poll suffer a defeat.

No thinking person can look at the Broncos' schedule and put them in the national championship based on non-conference victories over teams such as Virginia Tech. Perhaps Boise State should also beat James Madison, another victor over the Hokies this season.

Texas Christian and Utah would also find themselves having to defend their resumes against one-loss teams if either one finishes the season undefeated. They have a slight advantage over Boise State, though, because one team will have a marquee win over the other after TCU travels to Utah on Nov. 6.

All of this drama could be ended by a playoff system. You know, the kind of thing undertaken by every other major American sport. Just saying. Until then, there is the PJ Poll.

PJ Poll - Week Six

The PJ Poll will have a new top dog this week following the loss of Alabama to South Carolina. Although the 13 remaining teams will not clash in head-to-head meetings like last week, many of the undefeated teams will have to cope with formidable stumbling blocks placed in their way.

The Big 12 is the class of the PJ Poll in Week Six with four teams staying unblemished. Tough challenges for Nebraska, Missouri and Oklahoma State could easily reduce that number this weekend.

The SEC, WAC, Big Ten and Mountain West still have two representatives in the PJ Poll. They join Oregon, the lone representative of the Pac-10.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Michigan St.
3. Texas Christian
4. Boise State
5. Oklahoma
6. Oklahoma St.
7. Nebraska
8. Ohio St.
9. Utah
10. Auburn
11. Missouri
12. LSU
13. Nevada

PJ Poll - Week Five

The PJ Poll members started to remove each other from the rankings last week. Five teams (Wisconsin, Indiana, Florida, Stanford and Texas A+M) were vanquished by other PJ Poll members in conference showdowns.

Combined with USC's fall to the Washington Huskies and the North Carolina State Wolfpack's loss to Virginia Tech, the PJ Poll was reduced from 25 to 18 teams.

North Carolina State was the last surviving member of the ACC. With the exit of the ACC, the number of conferences remaining alive in the PJ Poll is now six.

Here are this week's rankings:

1. Alabama
2. Oregon
3. Ohio St.
4. Boise St.
5. Texas Christian
6. Michigan St.
7. Oklahoma
8. Oklahoma St.
9. Nebraska
10. Arizona
11. Michigan
12. LSU
13. Auburn
14. Nevada
15. Missouri
16. Kansas St.
17. Utah
18. Northwestern

NFL Lock of the Year

There are going to be a lot of gamblers that will want to recoup their losses on the Sunday night NBC game by singing a version of Frank's "Chicago is My Kind of Town."

They would be much better off singing "New York, New York."

The line on this game is so curious that it sets off bells and whistles inside me usually reserved for appearances by Christina Hendricks. It's more curious than a monkey that hangs out with men who wear yellow.

The Giants are in such disarray that they should probably not be giving 3.5 points to anyone --let alone the undefeated Bears, who are fresh off an impressive victory over the Green Bay Packers.

Well, those Giants will be in "array" Sunday night. Everyone is preparing for the implosion of this once-proud franchise -- but it will be Jay Cutler working in the Implosion Department Sunday night. He'll think he's still at Vanderbilt.

Give the 3.5 points and take the Giants. The Bears are the "Sucker Bet of the Year." There are Care Bears out there who will show more intensity than Chicago will Sunday night.

These Bears are ready to hibernate and they are going to catch a lot of suckers who do not anticipate their nap on Sunday night. The Blue Men are about to cover the Bears in Pooh!

Playing Cards with LeBron James

New Miami Heat player LeBron James said the backlash against him for leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers stems from racism present against African-Americans in the NBA.

When James is done addressing this issue, he plans to combat homophobia on Project Runway.