PJ Poll - Week 12

The inevitable path leading to the Oregon-TCU championship game will be cleared today as turkey-laden football fans will find room in their stomachs to devour the best in college gridiron action.

Nothing much changed from last week's PJ Poll. Thus, let us review. There will be two undefeated teams left at the end of today -- two teams with only one token game remaining to cement their roles in the national championship.

This is how the chips are going to fall today:

1) Oregon will turn the Arizona Wildcats into Mildcats. Think Reverse Catnip. This is going to be a rout. By the end of tomorrow, there will be no doubt that the Ducks belong in the national championship.

2) Auburn will get washed out with the Tide. It's high and Cam Newton won't be holding on. And he's not going to be your #1.

3) Boise State will find out that what happens in Nevada, stays in Nevada. Things such as national chamipionship hopes.

That leaves one game for Saturday - an easy rout of TCU over New Mexico. This victory will seal the Horned Frogs' undefeated season.

Oregon will have to defeat Oregon State next week to join TCU in the championship game.

The games this Friday will be very entertaining -- but two teams will be standing at the end of the day.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Texas Christian
3. Auburn
4. Boise State

Cam Newton Falls to Earth!

Photo: (Jerome Newton contemplates the strategic advantages of the 3-4 defense.)


Beleaguered Auburn quarterback Cam Newton endured more damaging revelations from alleged distant relative Jerome Newton on Tuesday.


Jerome Newton told reporters that he tried to make a deal with Vanderbilt regarding the signing of Cam Newton.


In this deal, Cam would sign with the Commodores and Jerome Newton would get water for his home planet.


The deal fell through, however, because Jerome Newton has always been an extremely poor negotiator.


The contracts eventually became so convoluted that Cam Newton signed with Auburn and Jerome Newton was left with weekly shipments of bottled water, personally delivered by Lionel Richie.


Cam Newton denies that he is even distantly related to Jerome Newton, noting that such a suggestion was "beyond the pale."

PJ Poll - Week Eleven

Every football season, countless people talk about the need for a playoff system and present powerful arguments why this system should be adopted.

But corporate bully boys, bowl organizers and university presidents overrule the will of the people. Fans are told to accept the legitimacy of a system that only benefits the rich and makes a travesty out of the beautiful sport of college football.

The San Francisco Giants and the Texas Rangers would never have been in the World Series if baseball was as hampered by nonsense as college football. And don't even get me started about Butler Bulldog Basketball!

Yet, there is still a glimmer of hope. The more teams that go undefeated and get shut out of the championship game, the more the BCS is weakened.

It's just a wee bit strange how the BCS often finds a way to legitimize itself. And games just "happen" to fall in such a way that make the ludicrous system actually seem workable.

Love is strange. People are strange. The BCS is very strange!

And there's a way for it to all work out for the BCS again this year. How convenient!

The championship game will be between Oregon and TCU. That's not the matchup supporters of the BCS want. But there is no way to avoid TCU at this point without further weakening the position that the BCS crowns a true national champion.

Oregon vs. Auburn would be the darling matchup of the corporate BCS interests. It sets up both an East-West and a North-South matchup as well as a shootout between two offensive juggernauts. That would make some money.

Here are the reasons why Oregon and TCU land in the big game and Auburn must make its exit.

1) TCU will be undefeated. New Mexico is a terrible team that will not even provide token opposition to TCU. The BCS does not want to hear that the system again denied an undefeated team the opportunity to win the national championship on the field.

2) Boise State will lose. They need to be out of the big game for the same reasons TCU needs to be in it.

The BCS cannot afford an undefeated team at the window. They can't afford the Broncos looking in at the party. Not to mention that putting your nose to a frozen window can be quite troublesome in Idaho.

It would be a tall order for either Fresno State or Utah State to go into Boise and come out with a victory. The emergency call for Boise will be "Reno 911." The Broncos will be in big trouble when they visit Nevada.

3) Nick Saban dissects Auburn. - The BCS doesn't want the Cam Newton debacle coming within shouting distance of the national championship game. Nick Saban's Alabama squad will find a way to stop Newton and put some much-needed luster back on Saban's coaching reputation. The Tide rolls the Tigers out to sea.

4) Oregon silences Quacks. - There are more doubters of the Oregon Ducks since they squeaked by the California Bears last week. They do have enough in their beaks, though, to best a tough Arizona squad and to survive a challenge by their always unpredictable rival, the Oregon State Beavers.

When the regular season ends, I will detail how a playoff system would serve college football much better than the current idiocy.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Texas Christian
3. Auburn
4. Boise State

PJ Poll - Week Ten

It is important to know your limitations. I cannot fully express just how much Texas Christian throttled the Utah Utes this past weekend. By a 47-7 score, Texas Christian humiliated a team that was a true impostor.

I have to call in Special Guest Commentator Conan the Barbarian to expand upon the dismantling of Utah -- a smackdown not given to "Utes" since the heyday of "My Cousin Vinny."

"Conan, what is best in Texas Christian's victory over Utah?"

"They crushed their enemies, they saw them driven before them and they heard the lamentations of their sister-wives."

Yes, and thank the PJ Poll for giving you the only Conan that will make you laugh tonight. And we did it without Andy Richter. Well, you can do pretty much anything without Andy Richter -- so it's not much of an accomplishment.

The PJ Poll is quite simplified right now. The National Championship Game is Oregon vs. Auburn unless one of those teams stumble. Boise State and Texas Christian will hope to fill one of those spots if either the Ducks or Tigers fail to remain undefeated.

Boise State will leave the home blue turf behind Friday night, but the Broncos should still have no trouble finding the green end zone when they travel to Idaho.

On Saturday, Auburn hosts Georgia, Texas Christian is home for San Diego State and the Oregon Ducks travel to California.

Those are three quality opponents -- but none of them would seem to have the firepower to knock out a team from the PJ Poll. Barring a major upset, the PJ Poll will look just like this again next week:

1. Oregon
2. Auburn
3. Texas Christian
4. Boise State

PJ Poll - Week Nine

There are Five Alive!

Much like the name of my favorite '80s post-sports thirst quencher -- a drink which has since faded into fruit punchy obscurity.

One of the five teams left in the PJ Poll will also certainly fade into obscurity as TCU and Utah challenge each other in a pivotal Mountain West matchup.

Here are the games that matter this week:

1 p.m. - Chattanooga at Auburn - Hey Choo Choo Men, do you see that train that just sped by? Cam Newton was on it. He just left you in the station. This game is solely to pump up Newton's Heisman stats.

3:30 p.m. - Hawaii at Boise St. - If this game was in Hawaii, it really could go either way. The home-field advantage is a big deal for the Broncos -- moreso than almost any other team in Division I.

The Warriors, though, have the weapons to pull off big plays against Boise. Hawaii will not be able to stop the Broncos on defense, so they are going to need to air it out early and often.
This game still could be the biggest surprise of the year. Don't count the Warriors out!

3:30 p.m. - Washington at Oregon - I've been hearing about how Washington quarterback Jake Locker is the next big thing for some time now. Yeah, when is that going to happen?

Quarterbacks that never win in college generally don't win in the NFL, either! I'm talking to you, Jay Cutler. Oh, and Oasis is going to be the next Beatles. How did that work out?

Oregon is favored by 35. They'll cover. The only drama will be if the Duck mascot can do all the push-ups.

3:30 p.m. - TCU at Utah - This is the game that will ensure an exit from the PJ Poll. Texas Christian is a completely solid team with no holes on offense or defense. The Horned Frogs are not flashy, but they know how to get the job done. I saw Utah struggle at home against a mediocre Pitt team at the beginning of the season. They do not have the firepower to overcome the consistency of TCU.

It will be a close game. But I think we'll still be talking about TCU in the PJ Poll next week.

Here are the rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Auburn
3. Boise St.
4. Texas Christian
5. Utah